oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
