Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
