Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
