the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize