his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The beer is more important than you right now.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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