How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
