Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i was born a porn star she said
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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