go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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