Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
