I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Vodka?
Forever.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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