...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
