Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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