Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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