So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
