Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you mean i was at the winter classic?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
