She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
