Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
