i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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