is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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