I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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