And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
