So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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