Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
