You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
