Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You're completely useless in the revolution.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
