I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
