so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
