did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
