There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
