i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm sobbing to NWA
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
