We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish I only lived at night.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
