i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
