I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
