Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
