Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
