But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
