i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
