Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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