i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I need a beard to bite.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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