Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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