My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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