Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize