Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
