did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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