Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
