youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
