You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
