had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I have fence marks all over my body
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
