Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
