I swear she didn't look like that last week.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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