She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The ass gains better be worth it
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