Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
