I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
