If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
