You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
