Where did you get a picture of my penis
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
