Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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