i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
